Recap

Report by: Galway Whispers

Tensions were high right out of the gates, many players making their primetime hurling debut and a few notable names missing, mainly, Damo (No one can spell my surname Conelelelylee??!!!) for the Rouge while the Harps were missing their captain Paddy (Hon Limerick) Bourke.
Na Fianna started with an early attack but the Harps were keen on showing off their new talent starting the Dublin man himself Rory Galvin on defense along Brian (I love Harp) Treacy. They made sure to clear the front of the net to make goalkeeper Magic Misc. Mike’s night easier. Tony (El president) Cunningham was first to hit the twine for the Rouge, but it was the only goal allowed by the stingy defense.

Throughout the whole game we could hear chirping on both sidelines. This was probably encouraged by Jake O. running the sideline for the Harps, or maybe he had too much coffee before the game as he made enough noise that we thought 10 different people were screaming away as if their life depended on it. Chirping was also seen on the field. The first one came from rookie sensation Sam Clark, as she was heard chirping away at goalie Oli Sakr, It is unknown what she said but staying true to his name he responded with the only word in his vocabulary, “Tarbanak”. Her night did not end there as a bad deflection of the sliotar was seen falling in front of her and she made sure to capitalize on the moment to score her first goal. It is unclear if she caused the goalie to fall, but the ref did not call it and the Harps were then tied. Alan (The bearded man) Baxter made sure the Rouge would not fall back and knocked a few points over the bar for his team to make sure they went into the half time break with a 3 point lead.

At half time, posters were already on display within a 2 mile radius of the dome forbidding any caffeine sales to hurlers as this game was getting out of hand loud!

Scary moment during the second half as rookie Carly Bennett took a wild swing at the sliotar only to hit the Anthery antelope Ronan Corbett on the shin causing the hurl to explode . Silence for the first time was heard as the antelope dropped to one knee before getting back up and jogging it off. Everybody exhaled in relief and the cheers and roars from the sidelines recommenced. Thus, Carly’s new nickname was born, Carly (Hurl breaker) Bennett. The Harps finally took the lead halfway through the 2nd half as Jake (keep him away from coffee next time) O. made a pass to Tiphaine (The Bully) Levrat for her first career goal. The 2 were seen running towards each other in excitement and hugged in celebration all while Neil O’Brien was playing the titanic theme song on the tin whistle somewhere in the crowed which brought a tear to everyone’s eye here at the Galway Whispers. This beautiful Harps story came to a quick end after Liam (Boston) Twomey knocked countless points over the bar to give the Rouge the lead for good. Tom (I’m 1 letter away from having the coolest name ever) Blad was knocking many points over the bar for his respective team, but it was not enough.

At press conference, the YouTube sensation known as the Kerry farmer Mikey Joe O’Shea was still looking for his lost sheep.